Codependents: You’re Not a Victim — You’re the Fuel. Cut Off the Supply.

By G. “GiGi” McKinney

It’s a hard truth, but it’s a necessary one:

Narcissists don’t thrive without supply. And often, that supply is you.

Not because you’re weak. Not because you’re broken. But because you were trained — often

from childhood — to be hyper-attuned to others’ needs at the expense of your own. That’s

not love. That’s codependency.

And when paired with a narcissist, that pattern becomes a power source. One that fuels

manipulation, emotional imbalance, and exhaustion.

What Is Codependency, Really?

Codependency isn’t just “being too nice” or “caring too much.” It’s a learned survival

strategy — often rooted in trauma, neglect, or emotional parentification. It says:

- “If I manage your emotions, maybe I’ll be safe.”

- “If I stay needed, I won’t be abandoned.”

- “If I make myself small, I won’t be rejected.”

Codependents give endlessly. Apologize quickly. Avoid conflict. Walk on eggshells.

And guess who thrives in that environment? The narcissist.

Narcissistic Supply 101

Narcissists don’t just want control — they need validation, admiration, and compliance.

They seek emotional caretakers to keep the spotlight on them. That validation is their fuel.

It’s how they regulate their own ego and avoid shame.

And the codependent — with their chronic empathy, guilt, and loyalty — becomes the

perfect supplier.

“I just want them to love me.”

“Maybe if I’m better, they’ll change.”

“They weren’t always like this.”

“I can fix it.”

Those are the scripts of supply. And the narcissist counts on it.

How to Cut Off the Supply

The healing begins when you realize this: You are not powerless. You are the plug. And you

can unplug.

Here’s how to begin:

1. Name the Pattern

- Notice when you over-explain, fear saying no, or let guilt drive decisions.

2. Rebuild Your Boundaries

- Practice clear language like: “That doesn’t work for me.” “I need time to think.”

3. Reclaim Your Identity

- Reflect on who you are beyond being the fixer. Therapy and journaling help.

Final Thought: You Are Not a Victim — You Are the Key

Codependency kept you safe. But it’s no longer serving you.

You don’t need to earn love by disappearing. You don’t need to feed a person who only

takes.

The moment you cut the supply is the moment you reclaim your power.

You are not a victim. You are the vessel.

And you — not them — get to decide who drinks from your well.