Not Texting Back is Healing, too

By J. “RiRi” Foster, CPC

Some days, healing looks like journaling or breathwork.
Other days? Healing looks like not texting him back.

Not because you’re playing games.
Not because you’re bitter.
But because you’re finally done betraying yourself for connection.

If you’ve ever been gaslit, love-bombed, or manipulated, you know the cycle:

He disappears, comes back with the right words, and suddenly you’re back in the loop—explaining your worth to someone who’s never planning to see it.

You start shrinking. Doubting your memory.
Apologizing for having standards.
Calling it “love” when really, it’s survival in a one-sided situation.

So when you choose not to respond—when you stop offering emotional labor to someone who only takes—it’s not pettiness.
It’s progress.

Because healing also looks like:

• Blocking his number and not unblocking it “just to see.”

• Saying, “That was manipulation,” and actually believing yourself.

• Unpacking the part of you that thought pain was a sign of passion.

• Sitting with the discomfort of silence instead of chasing closure from someone who never gave you clarity.

Every time you honor your gut instead of your attachment wound, you're breaking the cycle.

You don’t owe him one more message.
You don’t owe him “one last talk.”
You don’t owe him the version of you that tolerated harm in the name of hope.

Not texting him back is healing.
And it’s holy.