Is It the Money or the Man? Unpacking the Power, Perception, and Perils of Wealthy Men and Sexual Control

By G. “GiGi” McKinney, LCSW

Power Is the Real Currency

It’s tempting to focus on the money. And yes—money matters. But money is just the access point. The real issue is power. The more money a man has, the more control he tends to gain: over environments, over people, over opportunities.

When you control whether someone ‘gets put on’—a record deal, a film role, a lifestyle upgrade—you’re no longer just someone with wealth. You become a gatekeeper of dreams.

And when desire (for fame, security, success) enters the room, consent can become unclear.

This isn’t just about men like Perry or Combs. It’s about us—our complicity, our silence, our hunger for access, our fear of exclusion.

It’s time to stop asking if powerful men are perverted and start asking: What have we allowed power to excuse—especially when it’s dressed up in Black excellence?

Desire and Dependency: A Dangerous Mix

Many assume these stories are just about lust or sexual greed. But in many high-profile cases, it’s not merely about sex. It’s about dominance—about watching someone need you, about knowing you are the barrier between them and the life they want. That’s not seduction; that’s control.

And here’s the frightening part: if someone depends on you—emotionally, financially, professionally—they might say ‘yes’ out of survival rather than choice. That’s more than a boundary issue; that’s a power trauma in action.

Everyone Has Fantasies. Not Everyone Has Power

Here’s a truth we don’t discuss enough: most people harbor some version of a ‘kink’ or sexual curiosity. But most lack the power to act on it at another person’s expense.

Sexual freedom isn’t inherently harmful. But when someone uses their position to foster a dynamic where ‘no’ isn’t truly an option, it becomes coercion cloaked in charisma.

It’s not that these men are uniquely perverted. It’s that they’re enabled to act on impulses others suppress—due to social norms, financial constraints, or fear of consequences.

The System Protects Power, Not People

The issue isn’t just individual men. It’s a system that:

- Rewards silence, especially from victims.

- Romanticizes power, even when it’s abusive.

- Excuses behavior, as long as money is involved.

In this system, wealthy men don’t have to change; the world bends around them.

While some women also wield power improperly, it’s often cisgender, heterosexual men at the top of the economic chain who are most shielded and least accountable.

What Do We Do with This?

We can’t overhaul every system overnight. But we can start by being honest about what we see. This entails:

- Supporting survivors without demanding ‘perfect’ victimhood

- Identifying power imbalances—even when they don’t look violent

- Teaching younger generations to spot power plays disguised as romance or opportunity

And perhaps most crucially, we must distinguish sexual expression from abuse of power. The two are not the same, though the latter often masquerades as the former.

Final Thought

It’s not that money corrupts; it’s that power exposes. And when you possess both, what’s revealed can be disturbing—especially if no one’s watching and everyone’s benefiting.

This isn’t solely about men like Combs or Perry. It’s about us—our complicity, our silence, our hunger for status, our fear of exclusion.

It’s time to stop asking if powerful men are perverted and start asking: What have we allowed power to excuse?